Flight Plan

We bought tickets this week!  I can hardly believe I get to say this. 

I learned, from my Yahoo Groups and adopting family blogs, that ticket prices to Asia are skyrocketing.  It seems that when school is out, everyone travels to Asia.  T., one of the Mom's adopting this summer, received permission to book mileage seats in advance in order to be sure she can afford the tickets.  She notified our group that she would be flying July 1.  She is about two weeks ahead of us in the paperchase and, like us, does not yet have travel approval. 

Usually, a family will wait until they have the final approvals from the USCIS and China AND have received their travel approval (TA) before buying tickets.  This means you buy tickets for a flight only a few days to weeks away at some exorbitant high season price.  This avoids purchasing tickets too early as you must have the TA in hand before getting on a plane.  However, with the way the ticket prices are going up ($100-$300 a day since I started looking), we were not going to be able to afford take the boys and Nana unless we bought tickets now.

The agency person who coordinates this part of the process (Sabrina) calculated potential travel dates out for us numerous times.  While she worked on this, I tried valiantly to get us mileage seats for at least half the group.  Multiple lengthy attempts were unsuccessful as I found that all mileage seats to Asia available to us had been booked about a year in advance.  I started getting very desperate.  When looking at various airlines and dates, I only found things to be more and more expensive.  Additionally, the potential calculations for reasonable dates that would ensure that we had received ALL of our documents pushed things from the idea of receiving Lulu in June into July. 

Then Sabrina settled on a date that was comfortable for her to expect all paperwork to be completed:  July 19th.  We would be allowed to purchase tickets for July 19th with a presumed/hoped for "Gotcha Day" of July 26th.   This is the first time I have heard a proposal for a real honest-to goodness Gotcha Day.  This will be the special day in which we meet, receive, and begin to connect with our daughter at the provincial offices in Nanning.

I spent hours trying to work with a website and on the phone with a help center in India.  I went to bed that night furious with an airline.  I couldn't book six tickets at once on their site but since they were the least expensive airline, and recommended by an acquaintance from US and Mainland China, I was determined to work it out.  I worked two computers at once and was able to buy two tickets at the promised price but was locked out of buying the other four tickets.  I tried every credit card, multiple options, and then called for help.  The help desk first told me there were no seats on my flight.  I had 2 out of 6 on a plane that I needed 6 to fly on.  The website gave me every indication that seats were available.  The reservations agent spoke with a supervisor and let me know that they no longer had any online pricing seats available but that they could release seats to me at the higher price.  I was completely miffed but at this point I recognized that we were going to be lucky to be able to fly on the same plane at all and if I had to wait even one more day, we would lose the opportunity to travel at all.  We were allowed to reserve the seats that night and if we called back in the AM when their credit card desk re-opened, we would have the tickets.

Did I get up early to call reservations desk in India?  I sure did!  We bought them and the boys went off to school that morning and spontaneously started telling their teachers and classmates how excited they were to be going to get their sister in July.  Even if it is two months away, it is ONLY two months away and that feels a lot better than having no idea when we would go and whether we would be able to take the boys.

So, very happy news from the Harp household this week.  We will depart on a Monday, arrive in China Tuesday evening, tour either Guilin and Yangshuo along the Li River or tour Beijing - we still have to decide that part of the plan- then we will get to Nanning on Sunday and unite the family on Monday.  Then we have days of adoption related activities in Nanning and then in Guangzhou.  More agenda later.  Right now, I just want to bask in the joy of having tickets.  It does feel good.

Wish Come True

Last night, Thom asked me what I wanted most for my birthday.  I smiled cheerily and said, "Our daughter."  I really meant it but I didn't want to get my hopes up.  Last week no families on Rumor Queen got an April LOA.  That was after 12 families received their Letters of Approval (the final official approval of a family's commitment to adopt their particular child) the week prior.  Last week on Rumor Queen everyone was fessing up to their addiction to LOA statistics.  "Hi, I'm Karin, and I'm addicted to LOA results."  Something like that.  Believe me, I was watching as closely as everyone else and trying to be patient and wait for the average of an 80 day wait.

This morning, I awoke to my 41st birthday celebration before I headed off to work.  The boys got me fantastic DVDs.  Thom got me pretty sparkly things that I love.  The kisses from all were plentiful.  I was happy and on my way to work where folks were sweet and thoughtful and wonderful.  I finished up the morning, went to my jacket pocket, and took a tiny peek at my iPhone...just in case.  It is Monday after all and if you have been reading my updates you know that Monday and Tuesday are traditionally big days for receipt of LOAs.

This was the text I got from Thom:  "We got our LOA!!!!  Happy Birthday Honey!!!!"  I cried, giggled, screamed and jumped up and down all at the same time.  It's day 67 AND MY BIRTHDAY!  I could hardly believe it. 

Now what?  More paperwork and Fedex shipping.  Shots.  Visas.  Packing.  Frantic feathering the nest mode.  A travel date somewhere in June.  A family who is 6-8 weeks to getting on a plane.  The dream of receiving our daughter and getting to know her being only a few months away.  One delighted birthday Mama along with an ecstatic household.  Can I get a "WOOO HOOOOOOOO?!"

Getting Ready to be a family of Five

For a while now, I have been delaying preparing for Lulu's arrival.  Many months ago, I thoroughly enjoyed the nesting process and I discovered all the adorable things out there for girls.  Over the past few months, I chose not to attend to "things" as I realized that we have a good start and that hopeful place in my heart was becoming more and more sensitive as it became harder and harder to wait.  It was time to focus attentively on our family of four and just let us become five when the time was right.

We took a lovely Spring Break in San Diego and spent time at the beach and the various parks around the area.  It was fantastic.  I noticed Asian daughters everywhere I looked.  Most with Asian parents and many with caucasian parents.  I found myself absolutely looking forward to someday taking our daughter to see the Koalas and Pandas and Giant Anteaters at the wonderful San Diego Zoo. 

The first step in realizing that I am ready to finalize the nest was when I saw a booth at Legoland where wonderful artists paint names with shapes from nature or from stories.  Both boys have had, since early childhood, their names drawn with flowers or animals in that Chinese painting style and hung above their beds.  Right away, I knew it was time to get Allura's.   We had her name done in princesses/fairies with various hair colors and flowers.  I just love it!  We also had a smaller one with a hula girl as the "L" in Lulu. 

I understand and can only imagine how complex the naming issue is going to be for our little girl.  We will find out, when we receive her, what she prefers to be called and we will call her that.  But we do hope to work in or at least establish an appreciation for the name and nickname her parents gave her in love and appreciation.

Someone in a blog has mentioned two books to read about adoption.  One is a fictional fantasy book and one about names.  I will attach the Amazon info here but I have not read them nor read their reviews at this point.

Next, I need to work on how to have a 5th seat at the breakfast table look natural and not just added on.  I think it will go from a table for 4 to a table for 5 by simply expanding the one we have.  Or we'll go to Ikea and get a round table.  We always wanted to do that anyway so people can stop being afraid of our creaky kitchen chairs collapsing underneath them.  Hasn't happened yet but it does sound like the ice cracking on a frozen lake or glacier when a person sits down or even shifts their weight...  Ahhh, another item on my list for preparation for Lulu's arrival.  I love this list that I am building in my head because it means that I truly believe that the day will come that we are a family of five.

Allura - Sista to the bruthas

These photos of Lulu came in November after the late October pre-approval from China.  We were floored to get an update just after she turned three.  The boys' photos are from earlier in the school year, ages 6 and 9.

We have recently discovered, through my adoption penpal/blogpal Stephanie (Thank you!) that LOAs usually come in to agencies on Mondays.  That makes sense with what I saw on Rumor Queen/Chinaadopttalk when 12 families from various agencies received their LOAs.  So, we have our fingers crossed, are praying and trying not to obsess- What, me obsess?!  Nah!  No really, I am trying to be patient for Monday and Tuesday of next week.  Today is day 56 for us from LID to LOA and counting.  Hoping to count only to Monday....

Our dossier specialist Marilyn says that LOAs do usually come in on Mondays.  It takes 4 weeks typically to get from LOA and all a few more documents to receiving TA (travel approval) from China.  Apparently TA comes in on Mondays too as a group of families got the TA at our agency this past Monday and are getting on planes to China this Friday!  Amazing!  Usually it takes 2 weeks from TA to getting on a plane.  So, are we 6.5 weeks away from traveling?  Not if it really takes 75-120 or more days to get to LOA.  But everytime I look at Lulu's photos I fall deeper and deeper in love with our little cherub.  I can't wait to cuddle her, sit with her, play with her, teach her, listen to her, sneak in and see her sleeping under her Hello Kitty (of course) comforter, console her, argue/debate with her, watch her play with her brothers while she tells them what to do....

As soon as we get LOA and new photos we will certainly share.  Enjoy these for now:

Sharing our photos.

Creating a blog for adopting families is a wonderful way to share the process.  It's also quite therapeutic and informative to boot.  Through reading the blogs of many families, I recognize that everyone shares the photo of their child.  We don't have to give every single detail and identifier and in that way we can protect her privacy.  But seeing the photos of all of the children who will soon have families of their very own and who are already loved from across the planet fills my heart with hope and joy.

While we await our LOA and updated photos.  Please enjoy pictures of our darling girl.  Her baby photo was at 4 months of age.  Her "fancy hair" photo was age 2 1/2 years. The age 3 photos will be in a posting at another date as they are stored on another computer.

Embracing My Inner 10 year-old

Written 1/18/10:
For years now, I think I have been suppressing my girlishness.  When I was a little girl, and a big girl, I loved Little Twin Stars, My Melody and Hello Kitty.  I enjoyed color, music and language.  I adored anything Japanese or Chinese.  Some of the most hysterical girl-pop was from Japan.  This all faded over time for me.  Perhaps I thought that doctors had to be somewhat serious.  Perhaps it was because there is little cute stuff for boys.   It's hard to perceive Bionicles and Transformers as adorable. 

Okay, now that I think about it, my boys are certainly not hampering my girly side.  They even made stuffed animals with me two weeks ago.  They picked out the characters they wanted to make from Aranzi Aronzo's awesome book Cute Dolls.  Then, we went to the fabric store together, picked out the own fabrics, and came home and made a fluffy monkey and a bird-like creature called Liar.

I have had a great time picking out cute things for Lulu.  Turns out I still love Barbie.  Not the standard versions of course but rather Mulan, Miss Sumatra, the 1998 Christmas version, Snow White, the Tinkerbell Fairies.  Yes, I happen to have some such items in the linen closet waiting for our little girl.  Online I found some GroovyGirlz (or however it's spelled).  I also found the perfect Hello Kitty Butterfly comforter, a matching pillow, and some really sparkly shoes.  Then of course there are the cheerful My Little Pony dolls that my friend Elane's girls passed on to Lulu.  Don't even get me started on the cute clothes.  I decided that it is likely just best to get a few things that I adore.

4/06/10-
Now I find that I have done the bits of nesting I can do.  I am ready to do the receiving.  No, I don't have her bed in the kid's room yet.  I don't have her wall decorated.  I think I am waiting for the LOA to come and then I will be excited to actively work on creating her own space in her home.  The time to prepare that aspect is almost here but if I do it too early, I am afraid that I will just miss her more.  When we get the LOA though and send back our final agreement to adopt our dear daughter, there will be no holding me back.  That awesome name painting that we just had painted for her and spells out Allura in princesses, flowers, and glitter will get framed and up on her wall just like the boys have always had for their walls.   Minus the princesses, flowers and glitter for them of course....

Time and time again...

We are excitedly awaiting our LOA.  This is the document that China sends to formally and finally match a child to their family and to allow us to finalize our commitment to adopting Lulu.

Through participating in three Yahoo Groups, one for our agency (Wasatch), one for our city  and one for the province, I have learned a great deal over the past month.  One of the neat tidbits is that there is a website called chinaadopttalk.com in which people at various stages in the process from all over the country talk about their experience or ask questions.  Three of us from our agency have been communicating closely about how many days between LID and LOA (we are on day 54 today) and who has received their LOA.  Well, an amazing person on Chinaadopttalk actually builds a chart with all the waiting families in the Special Needs program, the age and gender of the child, and the province.  The most important thing that we are all watching for is who gets their LOA and when as it can mean that another family is close to that goal.

So over yesterday and today, 12 families got their LOAs!  12!  Two were from my Wasatch group and they had waited 54 days.  They are however from a different Province but there were two families who had LIDs in February from our province and got their LOAs this week.

We are the next Special Needs family on the list with a child in our province.  I can only hope the LOA comes soon!  Does it come by Fedex, do they call us?  I have no idea.  I'll have to ask.  I am just so happy for the four families in my Wasatch group that have received there LOAs and we hope we are next.  I was hoping for under 75 days, as were the other families and they received them at day 54.  However, the family still waiting the longest on the list is at 85 days.  So, we'll just keep hoping and praying and look forward to the news.

We have LID!

From Harp Mama-
Our dossier went to China on 2/02/10 with the courier. We were thrilled to find out yesterday that China officially logged in our file on 2/11/10 (Our log-in date or LID). This means that they acknowledge that they received all the documents that we and many others painstakingly put together and made official through so many steps beginning well before last October. There have been a number of families with whom we have communicated who were either waiting for their LID or hadn't even received one after a few months!

Now, we are allowed to begin the countdown to our LOA or letter of approval. It may take anywhere from 60-120 days to have LOA. LOA is the formal offer of adoption of a specific child (for us- our dear Allura Minlan- "Lulu"). With it we will receive an update on her progress and growth and we should receive updated photos. Yay! I can only imagine how much she has grown since we last saw her adorable smile. When we are LOA, we will immediately Fedex our letter of acceptance to Wasatch who will get it back to China. Then we also Fedex the federal officer who is processing Lulu's US approval (this takes 10-14 days). Then we wait for the I-800 approval from the US, get that back to China, then they work on one more document I think. Finally, about two months after LOA, we can expect/pray for our travel approval. Two weeks or so after that, we hope to be on a plane to China.

So the big question is always, "When?". The answer from us is of course, "Not soon enough". But really we are one giant leap closer to putting our arms around our sweetie toddler. Perhaps we will have our TA (travel approval) by August 11th (6 months from the LID), perhaps earlier, perhaps later. We'll let you know as we count down to our LOA.

Enough acronyms for you? It is part of the adoption process for those that blog or email just like when people text. So, today is day 19 from LID on our way to LOA. There should be some sort of Beach Boys song for that....

Countdown to...September?

Written January 28th:  Tomorrow is our official deadline from China to receive the dossier.  It's a day that I have really looked forward to.  For me it means that I've done everything I can do at this point and to the best of my ability to complete every document, make every deadline, participate in every interview, fingerprinting, online education, doctor's visit, etc.  You name it and we've done it if it is required in order to adopt a child from a Hague Convention country.

What's the Hague Convention?    As travel has become easier and borders easier to cross, and families multinational, the issues of jurisdiction over child movement has needed advancement.  The Hague Convention is an agreement that has been developed and improved upon over the past century to provide for a country both to protect its children and have jurisdiction over their movement as well as provide common language and pathways for countries to work together on a child or family's behalf.  In the past 25 years there have been three Hague Conventions in order to further improve the convention and its protections for children.

When Marilyn, our dossier specialist, offered me reassurance that it's okay that the delay in the Federal document processing means that our dossier won't quite get there on the 29th but will be there by the 3rd of February, I was relieved.  Apparently the deadline exists so families don't dilly-dally taking months to do their paperwork while a child awaits their adoption.  For families that have been diligent and are actively working through the process, a few days is fine.

Good news is good news.  As you have learned by reading our posts, the next piece of insight into the process often shines light on something previously completely unknown.  After Marilyn let me know that all is well with the dossier and deadline, I asked about the next steps.   I had blocked out my work schedule for May and June in preparation to travel to receive Lulu.

Marilyn quickly walked me through time, basically like this:  mid-Feb. - dossier will be logged in by China.   China gets up to 4 months (now we are in mid-June) to process and review the dossier before we are allowed to pester them.  If approved, we will be sent a formal offer to adopt Lulu, we respond by accepting the offer formally.  Then, it will take 10-14 days for the US Government to process the I-800 in order to determine that Lulu may be adopted by us (both countries have to agree that she is truly free to be adopted and meets the criteria for our approval to adopt), then we wait for the invitation to travel.  It's about August by now on Marilyn's timeline.  We could travel anywhere from 2 to 6 weeks from the invitation to travel depending on the appointment we are given by the US consulate in China.  Most likely, it will be September when we travel.  If something goes more quickly than usual, we could get lucky and travel in August.

Sorry to bog down in the details but "When?" is the most common question we ask ourselves or are asked by loved ones.   There are many opportunities to ask this question of ourselves.  Often I look at an adorable 3 year old girl in my office or at a store and imagine us with our daughter.  The next, I am thinking through the steps I need to take to keep the process moving forward.   I hadn't at all anticipated waiting until September.  June. July.  But not September.   September, huh?

I am trying to keep it positive.  We need to remember that is will still be less than 12 months for the entire process.  Perhaps even 10 months if things go really smoothly.  It's like a gestational period.  Plenty of time to nest, study, prepare, imagine.  There are some wonderful books to read out there on adoption and international adoption.  Additionally, there is time for completing the school year, enjoying the boys, and taking a vacation or two before we prepare for China.  As Sara Smeby says, "it's a paper pregnancy" and also a pregnancy of the spirit and of the imagination.  We can't wait to know her but we can certainly work on ourselves and continue to love life while we are waiting.Single Square Picture: A Korean Adoptee's Search for Her Roots