We have opened the blog to anyone who wants to look at it now that Minlan is here. As she is now our daughter, we can leave the site open and are not at risk of violating the rules of the Chinese Adoption regulators. So, feel free to share the web address with friends or family who might want to see it. The address is www.weloveluluharp.blogspot.com
Thanks for reading and please feel free to post your comments. We would love to have them as a part of this record for our family and friends.
Women ai nimen! (We love you!)
K,T,D,Q&M
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Photo Time- Flight Seattle to Beijing
I am going to work a bit each day if I can to share some great photos of our trip. Finally! Allura Minlan is taking her nap now and Thom is writing while the boys goof off without electronics for the moment. Gotta work quickly as this is the time I get... Haven't even taken a shower yet and it is 1PM! Oh, well.
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| 5 Tickets to Bejing! Let's go- "zou ba!" |
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| The golden folder. It contains all the documents required to receive Minlan. |
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| Patient boys at Sea-Tac. Super travelers! |
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| On our way! |
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| Bright and shiny faces. |
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| Our route. We flew right over two places we have seen and even lived in- Russia and Alaska. |
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| Zzzzzzzzz.............. |
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| Touchdown in Beijing. We're here! |
Medical Update and More
Wow. So many things have happened in just the past two weeks. Today, is the two week mark of our arrival in Seattle. Are the kids settling in well? Let me just say that Minlan and Quinlan have just made a fort/bed out of the small family room couch and Quin is wearing clean underwear as a sleeping hat. Not the worst thing he can teach his sister so I am not fighting it as I do have to pick my battles.
Prior to this moment, the two younger ones were making music videos in the upstair hallway. So cute!
Is everything happiness and light? Much is but not everything. Sleep in still an issue. No night terrors now so we are in good shape but Minlan's night whispers (she talks softly to herself to get to sleep) is absolutely not working for the boy. Dec and Allura were up til midnight the night before last and last night Mommy spent an hour going back into their room and taking away privileges from the boys while looking sternly at Minlan. She did go sleep at 9 but I can't do that every night. Minlan is going to get her own big girl room this weekend.
The good is in how patient, smart, funny, and loving all three kids have been. They really work well together and they all work hard to be kind to each other and to play well. Each child has their own way of saying that they need our attention and we seem to be pulling off attending to each child's needs.
Yesterday, we were treated to a small miracle. The orphanage was kind enough to agree to use a memory stick for us when we asked if we could send one. We assumed they might download old photos from Minlan's files. We opened the file yesterday and couldn't believe our eyes or ears. It is a one hour video made by Minlan and her foster mommy! It is just breathtaking. Her foster mommy has Minlan in the red silk outfit sent by Nana and Bapa and shows Minlan going through her forever family photo album and taking about the fact that she likes Mommy's hair, that Mommy is pretty, that she likes her brothers, that she likes Quin's glasses, etc. She then sings a song in Chinese and takes us on a tour to see her bed. The next scene, only 8 minutes in, is a video of Minlan's 3rd birthday at her foster home with cake and presents. The camera was not held by foster mommy so we have her on camera too. It is priceless. I can't believe that her foster mommy put this together for us.
We have not yet watched the rest as it seemed to be what Minlan could handle and we don't want to stress her by accentuating things if she consciously or subconsciously is missing her foster mommy horribly. She must because she is/was clearly a great and loving nurturer. We are thinking through what we might send back to let her foster mommy know how much of a gift she gave Minlan to have raised her so well so far and how wonderfully Minlan is doing.
Back to the medical part: we had two medical appointments this week. Three really. The first was with the pediatric ophthalmologist. Dr. Epley, in Kirkland, was fantastic and definitely lived up to his excellent reputation. Minlan participated incredibly well. She sat through the whole thing, with playroom breaks, and at times asked to sit in the big chair alone and at times sat on Mommy or Daddy's laps. She was completely content and not anxious at all. She has clearly been through many eye exams.
Dr. Epley said he had a long list for us, as we expected. I had already noticed that she had had two cataracts not one as translated on the documents. That means that she has been going around without lenses in her eyes for years. Minlan's records show that she had bilateral congenital cataracts that weren't removed for 7 months. Dr. Epley explained that this was a significant period of visual deprivation such that her eyes became uncoordinated and developed a type of bouncing movement called nystagmus. Then the lack of lenses was not corrected with contacts or with glasses until she was already close to three years old. This lead to worsening nystagmus and to severe crossing of the eyes. Both are a sign of the optical cortex of the brain being uncoordinated due to lack of visual imput. He said it will be her biggest impediment to good sight over her lifetime but that it will improve with all the corrective measures he can offer.
The next issue is that her eye crossing needs to be attended to first. This will involve surgeries on both eyes on the same day to loosen some horizontal muscles and to tighten other. The goal will be to allow the eyes to be able to look forward. She supposedly had one such surgery in China but no one can tell what was done and whether it helped. The fact that her eyes are crossing all the time now, means that she is always seeing a double image. This doesn't work for functionality in life so the brain compensates by always shutting down an eye. This reduces development of the eye and the optical cortex. So, not only does she need surgery for the crossing but also daily patching for two hours switching back and forth between eyes each day (one day the left, the next day the right, and so-on).
The surgery will be at Swedish First Hill in Seattle on September 17th and she will be expected to go home that day. It will be under general anesthesia with a pediatric anesthesiologist and pediatric ophthalmologist.
At the time of the surgery, they will be able to get a good look at Minlan's anterior eye chambers. Sometimes, an individual's anterior chamber eye will not be sturdy enough to hold an implanted lens (the issue may be that it never developed the strength or that it was an issue with lack of lens for such a long time). If, at the time of the anti-crossing surgery, they think the anterior chamber will hold a lens (which is the ideal situation), then two more surgeries will be scheduled for subsequent dates. It would be ideal to have an implantable lens for far vision and then glasses would be required to assist far vision as well as for near vision.
If an implantable lenses are not a possibility, then it means specialized contacts beginning soon and for her whole life as well as glasses.
We also have to get Minlan to wear her glasses everyday. Right now, she has incredibly thick, heavy, inflexible glasses that came with her. The optician said that they can't be adjusted or they will completely break apart. However, as Minlan received these glasses between ages 2.5-3, and that was far too long to go without glasses in order to develop good visual pathways in the brain, we are lucky that she had any glasses at all. So, yesterday she went to Lens Crafters and picked out an adorable lightweight pink shiny metal pair. The lenses required are still thick and have to have an special kind of bifocal so we will have them back in 10 days or less. I can't wait! Minlan loved picking out her new glasses while Quin was fitted for his new pair and Mommy had hers repaired (smashed a bit in China).
So, as a synopsis: we have strabismus surgery booked for Sept. 17th for both eyes. Two more potential surgeries, we hope, for lens implants. Daily glasses. New glasses. Daily patching for two hours alternating eyes. Provision of visual stimulation daily. Plan to book an appointment with a low vision specialist to help with accomodations for home, future preschool, and learning.
The second appt day was with the pediatric adoption specialist Dr. Bledsoe. She said that Minlan has exceeded all expectations for everything. Minlan is larger, sturdier, healthier, cognitively exceptional, and better attached than children she sees who have been home only 1.5 weeks. Dr. Bledsoe was so happy with Minlan's growth since her last recorded data (she is now at 50th percentile for height instead of 30th and 80th for weight). Minlan demonstrated her excellent communication skills, excellent attachment to the family members, and even sang the ABC song for the doctor. The visit was really amazing. The only down side was that we had to have a blood draw for repeat of all the infectious disease tests done in China as well as to look for any lead levels and iron deficiency as these can be seen in adoptees. The blood draw was so sad! As soon as she saw the two people coming up to sit next to us in their white coats, she just started screaming and crying for me even though she was sitting right on me. It didn't stop until they were done but the lab did a great job and Minlan was easily consolable afterward. She is so brave!
The third appt was for the glasses fitting.
I have to share that at first, at the Ophthalmologist appt, I was in my Doctor Mommy brain and taking things in very easily and without deep emotion. Over the next few hours, my heart and brain were connecting all the dots and I was just overwhelmed with relief, gratitude and love for Minlan. Dr. Epley flat out told us that if Minlan had been in China much longer, with the length of visual deprivation she had experienced, she would be blind. She currently is partially sighted with potential for improvement. How much improvement, we don't know. We'll ask those questions and find out more over time. But a blind orphan in China has very little chance of a meaningful future. Now, we can help Minlan to maintain the sight she has an hopefully improve her situation. If things can't be improved a lot, she will still fare well due to the accommodations and opportunities available to Americans with low vision. She will be able to develop her passions, follow her dreams, and participate fully in the life she desires. I am so grateful to God for bringing her to us as our amazing daughter.
Prior to this moment, the two younger ones were making music videos in the upstair hallway. So cute!
Is everything happiness and light? Much is but not everything. Sleep in still an issue. No night terrors now so we are in good shape but Minlan's night whispers (she talks softly to herself to get to sleep) is absolutely not working for the boy. Dec and Allura were up til midnight the night before last and last night Mommy spent an hour going back into their room and taking away privileges from the boys while looking sternly at Minlan. She did go sleep at 9 but I can't do that every night. Minlan is going to get her own big girl room this weekend.
The good is in how patient, smart, funny, and loving all three kids have been. They really work well together and they all work hard to be kind to each other and to play well. Each child has their own way of saying that they need our attention and we seem to be pulling off attending to each child's needs.
Yesterday, we were treated to a small miracle. The orphanage was kind enough to agree to use a memory stick for us when we asked if we could send one. We assumed they might download old photos from Minlan's files. We opened the file yesterday and couldn't believe our eyes or ears. It is a one hour video made by Minlan and her foster mommy! It is just breathtaking. Her foster mommy has Minlan in the red silk outfit sent by Nana and Bapa and shows Minlan going through her forever family photo album and taking about the fact that she likes Mommy's hair, that Mommy is pretty, that she likes her brothers, that she likes Quin's glasses, etc. She then sings a song in Chinese and takes us on a tour to see her bed. The next scene, only 8 minutes in, is a video of Minlan's 3rd birthday at her foster home with cake and presents. The camera was not held by foster mommy so we have her on camera too. It is priceless. I can't believe that her foster mommy put this together for us.
We have not yet watched the rest as it seemed to be what Minlan could handle and we don't want to stress her by accentuating things if she consciously or subconsciously is missing her foster mommy horribly. She must because she is/was clearly a great and loving nurturer. We are thinking through what we might send back to let her foster mommy know how much of a gift she gave Minlan to have raised her so well so far and how wonderfully Minlan is doing.
Back to the medical part: we had two medical appointments this week. Three really. The first was with the pediatric ophthalmologist. Dr. Epley, in Kirkland, was fantastic and definitely lived up to his excellent reputation. Minlan participated incredibly well. She sat through the whole thing, with playroom breaks, and at times asked to sit in the big chair alone and at times sat on Mommy or Daddy's laps. She was completely content and not anxious at all. She has clearly been through many eye exams.
Dr. Epley said he had a long list for us, as we expected. I had already noticed that she had had two cataracts not one as translated on the documents. That means that she has been going around without lenses in her eyes for years. Minlan's records show that she had bilateral congenital cataracts that weren't removed for 7 months. Dr. Epley explained that this was a significant period of visual deprivation such that her eyes became uncoordinated and developed a type of bouncing movement called nystagmus. Then the lack of lenses was not corrected with contacts or with glasses until she was already close to three years old. This lead to worsening nystagmus and to severe crossing of the eyes. Both are a sign of the optical cortex of the brain being uncoordinated due to lack of visual imput. He said it will be her biggest impediment to good sight over her lifetime but that it will improve with all the corrective measures he can offer.
The next issue is that her eye crossing needs to be attended to first. This will involve surgeries on both eyes on the same day to loosen some horizontal muscles and to tighten other. The goal will be to allow the eyes to be able to look forward. She supposedly had one such surgery in China but no one can tell what was done and whether it helped. The fact that her eyes are crossing all the time now, means that she is always seeing a double image. This doesn't work for functionality in life so the brain compensates by always shutting down an eye. This reduces development of the eye and the optical cortex. So, not only does she need surgery for the crossing but also daily patching for two hours switching back and forth between eyes each day (one day the left, the next day the right, and so-on).
The surgery will be at Swedish First Hill in Seattle on September 17th and she will be expected to go home that day. It will be under general anesthesia with a pediatric anesthesiologist and pediatric ophthalmologist.
At the time of the surgery, they will be able to get a good look at Minlan's anterior eye chambers. Sometimes, an individual's anterior chamber eye will not be sturdy enough to hold an implanted lens (the issue may be that it never developed the strength or that it was an issue with lack of lens for such a long time). If, at the time of the anti-crossing surgery, they think the anterior chamber will hold a lens (which is the ideal situation), then two more surgeries will be scheduled for subsequent dates. It would be ideal to have an implantable lens for far vision and then glasses would be required to assist far vision as well as for near vision.
If an implantable lenses are not a possibility, then it means specialized contacts beginning soon and for her whole life as well as glasses.
We also have to get Minlan to wear her glasses everyday. Right now, she has incredibly thick, heavy, inflexible glasses that came with her. The optician said that they can't be adjusted or they will completely break apart. However, as Minlan received these glasses between ages 2.5-3, and that was far too long to go without glasses in order to develop good visual pathways in the brain, we are lucky that she had any glasses at all. So, yesterday she went to Lens Crafters and picked out an adorable lightweight pink shiny metal pair. The lenses required are still thick and have to have an special kind of bifocal so we will have them back in 10 days or less. I can't wait! Minlan loved picking out her new glasses while Quin was fitted for his new pair and Mommy had hers repaired (smashed a bit in China).
So, as a synopsis: we have strabismus surgery booked for Sept. 17th for both eyes. Two more potential surgeries, we hope, for lens implants. Daily glasses. New glasses. Daily patching for two hours alternating eyes. Provision of visual stimulation daily. Plan to book an appointment with a low vision specialist to help with accomodations for home, future preschool, and learning.
The second appt day was with the pediatric adoption specialist Dr. Bledsoe. She said that Minlan has exceeded all expectations for everything. Minlan is larger, sturdier, healthier, cognitively exceptional, and better attached than children she sees who have been home only 1.5 weeks. Dr. Bledsoe was so happy with Minlan's growth since her last recorded data (she is now at 50th percentile for height instead of 30th and 80th for weight). Minlan demonstrated her excellent communication skills, excellent attachment to the family members, and even sang the ABC song for the doctor. The visit was really amazing. The only down side was that we had to have a blood draw for repeat of all the infectious disease tests done in China as well as to look for any lead levels and iron deficiency as these can be seen in adoptees. The blood draw was so sad! As soon as she saw the two people coming up to sit next to us in their white coats, she just started screaming and crying for me even though she was sitting right on me. It didn't stop until they were done but the lab did a great job and Minlan was easily consolable afterward. She is so brave!
The third appt was for the glasses fitting.
I have to share that at first, at the Ophthalmologist appt, I was in my Doctor Mommy brain and taking things in very easily and without deep emotion. Over the next few hours, my heart and brain were connecting all the dots and I was just overwhelmed with relief, gratitude and love for Minlan. Dr. Epley flat out told us that if Minlan had been in China much longer, with the length of visual deprivation she had experienced, she would be blind. She currently is partially sighted with potential for improvement. How much improvement, we don't know. We'll ask those questions and find out more over time. But a blind orphan in China has very little chance of a meaningful future. Now, we can help Minlan to maintain the sight she has an hopefully improve her situation. If things can't be improved a lot, she will still fare well due to the accommodations and opportunities available to Americans with low vision. She will be able to develop her passions, follow her dreams, and participate fully in the life she desires. I am so grateful to God for bringing her to us as our amazing daughter.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Socks and night terrors
First, a disclaimer: life with Lulu has been pretty fabulous. She has now been here for over a week, and she owns this place. She started out terrified of the cat, running away from him, and refusing to walk for fear that she might round a corner and run into him. Now she calls him "Hao mao" - good cat. She pets him and follows him around.
For the first few days, she was overwhelmed with the toys, clothes, spaces, etc. Now, she picks out her clothes in the evening, has favorite dolls (that she kisses each night), and plays with the big boys' toys too.
She's cautious around strangers (a good thing), makes jokes (a great thing), and with us and the boys, she is open with her affection and love (the best thing). She also rats them out if they are being naughty or sneaking something - "Baba! Ni kan Quinlan! (Daddy! Look at Quinlan!)".
Still, it's not without its rough patches. The hardest thing is that she is by nature so incredibly verbal. Later, that's going to be great, but right now for her, she can't communicate the way she wants to. She will tell me something, and some of the time, I understand enough to answer her. But honestly, she's had to scale her language use back to communicate with a virtual 2 year old. You need to go potty? Do you like this? Are you hungry? I love you! Not exactly scintillating banter for a smart 3.5 year old. And there are times when even that falls apart. We were headed to the club to swim the other day and she wanted something, but we didn't know what it was. A towel? A toy? What is wazi ("wadzuh")? She cried and cried mostly because we didn't understand and there was nothing we could do. After 15 minutes of working on the spelling and trying to look it up on the iPhone Karin found the answer: socks. We went in flip flops, and she wanted socks.
She doesn't like the dark (because she can't see well) so going to sleep is hard on her. She compensates by whispering to herself, which keeps the boys amused and awake. While we were in China, she slept in our room and she slept through the night. But with the jet lag and the newness of her environment, sleep has been rough. Last night, she had night terrors, which if you have experienced them in a child, you know is no party. The kid tosses and turns and cries, but is asleep. If you wake them up, it's far far worse. Well, I woke her up and she screamed. Banshee style. Karin was able to ask her if she would go to sleep and she said yes and eventually it worked. But Karin was up 5 times last night. No fun.
The fact is, there is so much going on in her brain that we can't know, and the fact that she wants to communicate so much to us is a great sign. She could turn into a lump of clay like some orphaned and then adopted kids. That's one coping mechanism. But she runs to our arms, calls out "where's Daddy?" and spontaneously tells us she loves us. At the end of the day, you can't ask for more.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
For the first few days, she was overwhelmed with the toys, clothes, spaces, etc. Now, she picks out her clothes in the evening, has favorite dolls (that she kisses each night), and plays with the big boys' toys too.
She's cautious around strangers (a good thing), makes jokes (a great thing), and with us and the boys, she is open with her affection and love (the best thing). She also rats them out if they are being naughty or sneaking something - "Baba! Ni kan Quinlan! (Daddy! Look at Quinlan!)".
Still, it's not without its rough patches. The hardest thing is that she is by nature so incredibly verbal. Later, that's going to be great, but right now for her, she can't communicate the way she wants to. She will tell me something, and some of the time, I understand enough to answer her. But honestly, she's had to scale her language use back to communicate with a virtual 2 year old. You need to go potty? Do you like this? Are you hungry? I love you! Not exactly scintillating banter for a smart 3.5 year old. And there are times when even that falls apart. We were headed to the club to swim the other day and she wanted something, but we didn't know what it was. A towel? A toy? What is wazi ("wadzuh")? She cried and cried mostly because we didn't understand and there was nothing we could do. After 15 minutes of working on the spelling and trying to look it up on the iPhone Karin found the answer: socks. We went in flip flops, and she wanted socks.
She doesn't like the dark (because she can't see well) so going to sleep is hard on her. She compensates by whispering to herself, which keeps the boys amused and awake. While we were in China, she slept in our room and she slept through the night. But with the jet lag and the newness of her environment, sleep has been rough. Last night, she had night terrors, which if you have experienced them in a child, you know is no party. The kid tosses and turns and cries, but is asleep. If you wake them up, it's far far worse. Well, I woke her up and she screamed. Banshee style. Karin was able to ask her if she would go to sleep and she said yes and eventually it worked. But Karin was up 5 times last night. No fun.
The fact is, there is so much going on in her brain that we can't know, and the fact that she wants to communicate so much to us is a great sign. She could turn into a lump of clay like some orphaned and then adopted kids. That's one coping mechanism. But she runs to our arms, calls out "where's Daddy?" and spontaneously tells us she loves us. At the end of the day, you can't ask for more.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Coming home!
Today is our last day in China - well, almost. Tomorrow we meet our guide at 5:45, go to the airport and fly from Guangzhou to Beijing, through customs, and hen from Beijing to Seattle. So it's an airport day, which doesn't count.
Today we pack. Today we get ready. And soon, we return home with o ur beautiful girl and our seasoned traveling boys. We will probably throw out the socks which all have holes in them. We will brush our teeth using sink water again. There will be Mac and Cheese and much rejoicing.
It's been a fabulous trip, even with the sickness, the heat, and no potable water. I look forward to coming back once the boys have read more history and Minlan can understand that this is where she was born, not where she lives.
Once wee have settled, more pictures. Until then wish us well as we fly the long long flight home, our hearts full of joy.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Today we pack. Today we get ready. And soon, we return home with o ur beautiful girl and our seasoned traveling boys. We will probably throw out the socks which all have holes in them. We will brush our teeth using sink water again. There will be Mac and Cheese and much rejoicing.
It's been a fabulous trip, even with the sickness, the heat, and no potable water. I look forward to coming back once the boys have read more history and Minlan can understand that this is where she was born, not where she lives.
Once wee have settled, more pictures. Until then wish us well as we fly the long long flight home, our hearts full of joy.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Lulu is sworn in
Today, we gathered at the US consulate - the reason we are here in Guangzhou - with about 30 other families who were all adopting to have the kids sworn in as US citizens. Well almost. The moment Lulu steps off the plane in Seattle, she will officially be a US citizen, but still, it's a big big deal.
We told the boys that they were born in the US and so were US citizens from their first breath. But Lulu had a longer road to finding us, and today is the last step in China for our little girl to become ours forever.
Some interesting facts: the numbers of children adopted from China each year: 3000, down from 8000 a few years ago. Also, 53% of the children are special needs - up from somewhere in the 40s.
In our group, there were two kids who were about to "time out." At 14, if a child hasn't been adopted, they are released into society. They don't get any more schooling. For the lucky ones, there is work. For most, much less pleasant futures await them. One family from Seattle was adopting a 12 year old and discovered the 13 year old on a waiting list. His birthday is literally in two weeks. They told us that they found out last night that although he loved academics, he had been getting depressed as his birthday neared and wanted to stop going to school because he was not going to have a family so what was the point? This concept is called "aging out" because a 14 year old is no longer an adoptable orphan in this system. You couldn't meet a nicer boy. And he dotes on his parents and is so thrilled to have been adopted with his new brother. That awesome Washington family was here today for their 4th and 5th adoptees from China.
Today was also a milestone for us in many ways. Lulu called herself Lanlan, and she smiles when we call her Lulu, too. She hugs her brothers, picked out her first doll on her own (she kissed it over and over when we bought it), and was smiles almost all day long. She loved dressing up, she played with the other kids at the consulate in a play kitchen and play house, she even took a younger girl on as her mei mei "little sister." When we got back to the hotel, we got some treats to celebrate and she devoured the chocolate mousse AND the leftover chestnut mousse, too. She had a ball running after her brothers who she knows by name now. And she's trying to sing the alphabet song with us. She's a very loving, smart, funny and brave little girl. An absolute joy.
Two more days and then we come home.
More soon,
T&K
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
We told the boys that they were born in the US and so were US citizens from their first breath. But Lulu had a longer road to finding us, and today is the last step in China for our little girl to become ours forever.
Some interesting facts: the numbers of children adopted from China each year: 3000, down from 8000 a few years ago. Also, 53% of the children are special needs - up from somewhere in the 40s.
In our group, there were two kids who were about to "time out." At 14, if a child hasn't been adopted, they are released into society. They don't get any more schooling. For the lucky ones, there is work. For most, much less pleasant futures await them. One family from Seattle was adopting a 12 year old and discovered the 13 year old on a waiting list. His birthday is literally in two weeks. They told us that they found out last night that although he loved academics, he had been getting depressed as his birthday neared and wanted to stop going to school because he was not going to have a family so what was the point? This concept is called "aging out" because a 14 year old is no longer an adoptable orphan in this system. You couldn't meet a nicer boy. And he dotes on his parents and is so thrilled to have been adopted with his new brother. That awesome Washington family was here today for their 4th and 5th adoptees from China.
Today was also a milestone for us in many ways. Lulu called herself Lanlan, and she smiles when we call her Lulu, too. She hugs her brothers, picked out her first doll on her own (she kissed it over and over when we bought it), and was smiles almost all day long. She loved dressing up, she played with the other kids at the consulate in a play kitchen and play house, she even took a younger girl on as her mei mei "little sister." When we got back to the hotel, we got some treats to celebrate and she devoured the chocolate mousse AND the leftover chestnut mousse, too. She had a ball running after her brothers who she knows by name now. And she's trying to sing the alphabet song with us. She's a very loving, smart, funny and brave little girl. An absolute joy.
Two more days and then we come home.
More soon,
T&K
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
The Sick Suite
From Karin:
Hope everyone enjoyed my very unladylike prior post about the icky topic.
I wish that I was just writing today about the fantastic hotel upgrade the Marriott made for us. When we checked in to the Marriott's five-star China Hotel, we found that they had high occupancy and couldn't give us the two two-double bed rooms we had booked. All the hotel had was King rooms. All the hotels here charge for a roll-away bed and I was afraid we were going to revisit the battle we fought at the Majestic in Nanning to explain that 6 people can't sleep in two Kings and I wasn't paying extra for as proper bed.
The Marriott lived right up to it's 5 stars for us and upgraded us to two huge one bedroom suites and no charge for the rollaways. These suites are sweet and sick! Of course the biggest one has a view of really beat-up city apartments. One child used the word "slum" when he saw it and it may be accurate. However, the room is fabulous so we just keep the sheer curtains closed. If we want to have a nice view, it is just across the hall in Nana's room where we look at the luxurious outdoor pool where Minlan had her first baby pool swim last evening. It is obvious that she has never had the opportunity to float before and that she loves the sensation.
Today, what I'd really like to share about is health. I think Thom might have posted previously about Lulu developing a very high fever and horrible junky cough about 8 days ago. It seemed like a virulent pneumonia or bronchitis so she got Azithromycin along with Tylenol and a bit of ibuprofen. She was so terribly sick and it was a bit scary but we and she got through it. It seems to be a bit less terrible as it makes it way through each person. Quin was next. He is on day 5 of his antibiotics and much better. Dec developed his fever and junky cough and then I got to enjoy it myself. The first night I couldn't breathe laying down. Better on Dayquil and Nyquil but about to run out of the day version. Thanks goodness we brought a whole pharmacy with us. Oh and the makers of Motrin produce a kid's version here.
Mom thinks it is starting for her too. Not too bad yet but it seems to be starting the same way for most of us with the exception of Lulu's very high fever.
Dec stayed in bed for a day while Nana watched over him and Quin, Thom, and I took Minlan to have her TB test read. Negative (no TB)! Woo hoo! However, she had to go to the same nurse at the same station where she had had her five injections. We had already had the guide Ike tell her that she would have no shots and they only wanted to look at her arm. I held her and as soon as the woman spoke to her, she recognized the situation immediately and started to cry and howl. She was sure she was goint to have shots. Poor sweetie. They let me scoop her right out into the hall and comfort her and repeat over and over that she was all done. No shots. All done. Let's go -"Zou ba!" She was fine then. She is such a smart cookie.
Two days ago we had the housekeepers look for Mei Mei, Minlan's Gotcha Day dolly that she sleeps with and takes everywhere. Unfortunately we didn't take her with us to the TB test reading and it looks like she was bundled up in the sheets and sent to the laundry. The housekeeper felt horrible about it and was on the search. I sure didn't want to have to explain to Minlan that she is gone for now. Goodness but she loves that doll.
The good news was that it took over 24 hours to find her but she was discovered and returned. Last night the Manager brought Mei Mei up herself with a tiny teddy bear to make up for Lulu's loss and with a very sweet apology for the error. Lulu has been very happy to have her dolly back. Mei Mei went to the park with us today for a very sweaty quick look around.
Now we are back in the rooms. We have showered and are resting up for our big trip to the consulate for Minlan's swearing-in ceremony to become a citizen when she emigrates. We are so excited for this day.
Tomorrow, we are to receive the visa that will allow her to enter the US as our daughter and a full citizen. It's so exciting! This certainly keeps me buoyed up through this nasty illness.
More soon,
K
Tomorrow is consulate
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Hope everyone enjoyed my very unladylike prior post about the icky topic.
I wish that I was just writing today about the fantastic hotel upgrade the Marriott made for us. When we checked in to the Marriott's five-star China Hotel, we found that they had high occupancy and couldn't give us the two two-double bed rooms we had booked. All the hotel had was King rooms. All the hotels here charge for a roll-away bed and I was afraid we were going to revisit the battle we fought at the Majestic in Nanning to explain that 6 people can't sleep in two Kings and I wasn't paying extra for as proper bed.
The Marriott lived right up to it's 5 stars for us and upgraded us to two huge one bedroom suites and no charge for the rollaways. These suites are sweet and sick! Of course the biggest one has a view of really beat-up city apartments. One child used the word "slum" when he saw it and it may be accurate. However, the room is fabulous so we just keep the sheer curtains closed. If we want to have a nice view, it is just across the hall in Nana's room where we look at the luxurious outdoor pool where Minlan had her first baby pool swim last evening. It is obvious that she has never had the opportunity to float before and that she loves the sensation.
Today, what I'd really like to share about is health. I think Thom might have posted previously about Lulu developing a very high fever and horrible junky cough about 8 days ago. It seemed like a virulent pneumonia or bronchitis so she got Azithromycin along with Tylenol and a bit of ibuprofen. She was so terribly sick and it was a bit scary but we and she got through it. It seems to be a bit less terrible as it makes it way through each person. Quin was next. He is on day 5 of his antibiotics and much better. Dec developed his fever and junky cough and then I got to enjoy it myself. The first night I couldn't breathe laying down. Better on Dayquil and Nyquil but about to run out of the day version. Thanks goodness we brought a whole pharmacy with us. Oh and the makers of Motrin produce a kid's version here.
Mom thinks it is starting for her too. Not too bad yet but it seems to be starting the same way for most of us with the exception of Lulu's very high fever.
Dec stayed in bed for a day while Nana watched over him and Quin, Thom, and I took Minlan to have her TB test read. Negative (no TB)! Woo hoo! However, she had to go to the same nurse at the same station where she had had her five injections. We had already had the guide Ike tell her that she would have no shots and they only wanted to look at her arm. I held her and as soon as the woman spoke to her, she recognized the situation immediately and started to cry and howl. She was sure she was goint to have shots. Poor sweetie. They let me scoop her right out into the hall and comfort her and repeat over and over that she was all done. No shots. All done. Let's go -"Zou ba!" She was fine then. She is such a smart cookie.
Two days ago we had the housekeepers look for Mei Mei, Minlan's Gotcha Day dolly that she sleeps with and takes everywhere. Unfortunately we didn't take her with us to the TB test reading and it looks like she was bundled up in the sheets and sent to the laundry. The housekeeper felt horrible about it and was on the search. I sure didn't want to have to explain to Minlan that she is gone for now. Goodness but she loves that doll.
The good news was that it took over 24 hours to find her but she was discovered and returned. Last night the Manager brought Mei Mei up herself with a tiny teddy bear to make up for Lulu's loss and with a very sweet apology for the error. Lulu has been very happy to have her dolly back. Mei Mei went to the park with us today for a very sweaty quick look around.
Now we are back in the rooms. We have showered and are resting up for our big trip to the consulate for Minlan's swearing-in ceremony to become a citizen when she emigrates. We are so excited for this day.
Tomorrow, we are to receive the visa that will allow her to enter the US as our daughter and a full citizen. It's so exciting! This certainly keeps me buoyed up through this nasty illness.
More soon,
K
Tomorrow is consulate
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Monday, August 2, 2010
About the boys
The focus of this trip is Minlan, but at the same time, this is an amazing experience for the boys, and it has been very interesting to see how they see another culture, as well as deal with the adopting issues.
One we haven't mentioned much is the strange adoption bubble we travel in. It was slightly this way in Nanning, with three families staying at the same hotel, all there to adopt. We saw them at the Gotcha Day, the notary day, and around the hotel. The Majestic Hotel is also a favored one with adoption families, because they have great English speaking staff, good amenities within walking distance, and a Western style menu in one of their restaurants. But in Guangzhou, that's taken to a whole new level. The Marriott where we are staying has a breakfast buffet and each morning, we see over twenty families (and that's just during the window we eat during). Same story at the pool. And across town where the medical appointments are, the White Swan has been the locus for adoptive families for over 15 years. When the consulate was still there, it was really a one-stop shop. Our guide has over four families he's taking care of this week. Marilyn at one point asked if this was their full time job - yes it is. Each guide we've had during this process does this every week, week after week with new families coming in on Friday night starting the process all over again.
The boys see all this as interesting. Suddenly, halfway through our trip, they started seeing a whole lot of Americans (or Spaniards, as we've discovered at our hotel), they have people they can talk with, and the menu gets easier for them to manage. I told them they would get to go to a McDonalds as a cultural experience, and we discovered something really important: here, you can buy a toy without the Happy Meal. Also - they still have deep fried apple pies (not the baked ones that replaced the ones we used to have in the states).
They also notice the medical conditions that come with many of the kids who are adopted. Rather than not talk about it, we've been explaining what a cleft palette is, why a girl's hands may not work right, and why their sister has a hard time seeing things. In typical fashion, the boys are just curious, not opinionated about it, and I'm glad for the opportunity to talk.
We've also taken the Metro, trains, planes, and automobiles, and they've seen all kinds of people in each mode of transportation. The five hour train ride had salespeople on it, ramen vendors, and very nice people who helped us get all five of us in one section together. Across the board, people have been lovely to the boys, and have treated them like super stars.
When we first arrived, Declan was a little peeved at having his picture taken in public by everyone around us. But they haven't seen much blond hair in person. But he warmed to it. People flashed the "peace" signi in every picture, so the boys picked it up. After Beijing, all our photos have at least one person flashing the peace sign. Also, people asked us if the boys were twins - because all white people must look alike :-). I think the combination of blond boys, and a six foot tall red head and six two white haired lady made us stand out. Or maybe it was just my chrome dome.
One thing that annoyed me to no end earlier, but that I understand now is the boys' desire to go shopping everywhere. They see toys they've never seen, and even though they are made of plastic and break in a day, the boys are enthralled. We did do one day of shopping in Guangzhou which was ostensibly to get some tshirts because we needed another change of clothes. Since that was the whole point of the journey, it was great, and I loosened up a bit. Plus it was fun to see Minlan shopping, too.
As Karin posted earlier, everyone but me is or has been sick, so I'm trying to stay well. No adventures today except the pool and the TB screening. Tomorrow we are supposed to go shopping with a personal shopper in the afternoon. We'll see. Photos from the road to come....
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
One we haven't mentioned much is the strange adoption bubble we travel in. It was slightly this way in Nanning, with three families staying at the same hotel, all there to adopt. We saw them at the Gotcha Day, the notary day, and around the hotel. The Majestic Hotel is also a favored one with adoption families, because they have great English speaking staff, good amenities within walking distance, and a Western style menu in one of their restaurants. But in Guangzhou, that's taken to a whole new level. The Marriott where we are staying has a breakfast buffet and each morning, we see over twenty families (and that's just during the window we eat during). Same story at the pool. And across town where the medical appointments are, the White Swan has been the locus for adoptive families for over 15 years. When the consulate was still there, it was really a one-stop shop. Our guide has over four families he's taking care of this week. Marilyn at one point asked if this was their full time job - yes it is. Each guide we've had during this process does this every week, week after week with new families coming in on Friday night starting the process all over again.
The boys see all this as interesting. Suddenly, halfway through our trip, they started seeing a whole lot of Americans (or Spaniards, as we've discovered at our hotel), they have people they can talk with, and the menu gets easier for them to manage. I told them they would get to go to a McDonalds as a cultural experience, and we discovered something really important: here, you can buy a toy without the Happy Meal. Also - they still have deep fried apple pies (not the baked ones that replaced the ones we used to have in the states).
They also notice the medical conditions that come with many of the kids who are adopted. Rather than not talk about it, we've been explaining what a cleft palette is, why a girl's hands may not work right, and why their sister has a hard time seeing things. In typical fashion, the boys are just curious, not opinionated about it, and I'm glad for the opportunity to talk.
We've also taken the Metro, trains, planes, and automobiles, and they've seen all kinds of people in each mode of transportation. The five hour train ride had salespeople on it, ramen vendors, and very nice people who helped us get all five of us in one section together. Across the board, people have been lovely to the boys, and have treated them like super stars.
When we first arrived, Declan was a little peeved at having his picture taken in public by everyone around us. But they haven't seen much blond hair in person. But he warmed to it. People flashed the "peace" signi in every picture, so the boys picked it up. After Beijing, all our photos have at least one person flashing the peace sign. Also, people asked us if the boys were twins - because all white people must look alike :-). I think the combination of blond boys, and a six foot tall red head and six two white haired lady made us stand out. Or maybe it was just my chrome dome.
One thing that annoyed me to no end earlier, but that I understand now is the boys' desire to go shopping everywhere. They see toys they've never seen, and even though they are made of plastic and break in a day, the boys are enthralled. We did do one day of shopping in Guangzhou which was ostensibly to get some tshirts because we needed another change of clothes. Since that was the whole point of the journey, it was great, and I loosened up a bit. Plus it was fun to see Minlan shopping, too.
As Karin posted earlier, everyone but me is or has been sick, so I'm trying to stay well. No adventures today except the pool and the TB screening. Tomorrow we are supposed to go shopping with a personal shopper in the afternoon. We'll see. Photos from the road to come....
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Let's Talk about Poo
One day, I realized that we had had three experiences that would go together nicely in the blog. Potty issues are one topic that just can't be skipped in China. Sorry but I just can't resist. So here it goes:
Chapter 1. Plunger Skills.
In China, the most commonly encountered toilet type is the Chinese style toilet. It is a porcelain or stone or other material formed basin in the floor that has textured areas on which to place your feet at each side. There are no hand rails in the stall. One squats over the structure to use it. There is a drain at the base of the shallow long basin. There may or may not be water running through. On the train, there is a large bucket of water in the corner for use if the rinsing pipe is out of order. The drain on the train pours directly onto the tracks. There may or may not be a flushing mechanism. There may or may not be toilet paper available but everyone carries some for personal use. However, you are usually expected to place paper products, including your toilet paper, into the provided wastebasket.
Western style toilets are also sometimes available. Again, you are to put your paper in the basket because the sewer system can't handle the toilets.
One day, while we were in Guilin, we mentioned to the front desk person that the Western style toilet in our 3rd floor room was clogged and that this would need to be managed while we were out on our Li River Cruise. Daisy, our sweet front desk person 12 hours into her 24 hour shift said she would take care of it. I don't want to name names but let's just say that a certain lady brought along her thick American quad-ply cushy toilet paper and someone from that room forgot about the requisite tiny wastebasket deposit for paper.
We returned from our wonderful cultural experience and tours to find that the toilet was still clogged. I asked Daisy about it and she didn't understand the problem. She asked, "May I see it?". "I don't think you really want to, " I replied. "It's terrible. But, Okay.". She marched up the stairs with me, opened the lid and tried to flush it before I could stop her. Let's just say that terrible became hideous. She ran straight down the stairs and said she would get someone to help.
I went back to my room on the second floor. As I was getting things organized, I heard the sound of a young man retching intensely while running down the stairs and onto my landing. I thought, "please don't tell me that was the person who came to help.". Hopefully, it's a joke.
As it turns out, it was quite a circus. Mom said that two young men ("teenagers"- was the direct quote) came up to "see" the problem. Not only had they no idea where to get a plunger, but when they came back with an old brittle one, they proceeded to make a mess of the previously pristine bathroom. Then one of them started to lose his lunch and ran down the stairs while Mom worked diligently to teach the finer arts of successful and sanitary toilet plunging. The American-style paper was retired from use. Back to the single ply...
2. The Importance of the Second Half of Directions
I have been having a great time learning to use whatever bits of Mandarin I can pick up. I learned early on in my travels as a child that it is best just to be brave and to try. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
We were at the beautiful Seven Star Park in Guilin and our driver Mr. Li, who doesn't speak English, was taking us to see the pandas while our friend Lulu took a nap in the car. She was touring us around after completing her 24 hour shift in the hotel and hadn't slept because a person needed his laundry done before his flight out. Normally, she is able to nap a bit at night.
We had a lovely tour of the park and saw the waterfall, Camel Hill, a beautiful bridge and then took a huge circuit to what was supposed to be the Giant Panda Mansion. As we went around, Mom and the boys started to tire out and were really only going along to get to the panda siting. However, at the end of our circuit, Mr. Li was shocked to find that we had made it the whole way without finding any Pandas. While he worked to discuss this dilemma with park employees, the boys had tasty ice cream treats and mom had a rest.
Finally, after two long discussions, it was determined that the zoo itself was actually a separate entity and we had passed its entranced before we entered the park. By that time, Mom was wiped out and Mr. Li took her back to the van to rest. Thom and the boys and I ventured into the zoo. It required a separate entranced fee and there was not a touring soul to be found unlike the Park which was full of people enjoying the day.
Dec had already expressed the need for a bathroom. An urgent need and hope for a place to sit and do his business. Usually, the parks are very well labelled and this zoo was no different. There were many signs pointing the way to all the sites but not a one listed the bathroom. Not one. We went on and on looking for a bathroom. The search for the Pandas was replaced for the search for a place to have a poo. Finally, we came upon a work crew placing sod. I asked politely for the bathroom. He explained and used lots of arm waving to point way across some sort of diagonal, that went through all kinds to spaces and structures. Oh goodness. When I learned to ask for the bathroom, I neglected to learn the possible responses. At east I got the gist of the pointing and waving. "That way," I told my poor desperate child as we continued to walk faster and deeper into the zoo.
We did find the bathroom finally. It was in the farthest away corner of the zoo. Where were the signs? 10 feet from the bathroom. Maybe 20 feet if your want to be really generous. By the time we got there, Dec decided he didn't even need it and Quin was now in dire need to go number two. The only Western style toilet was in a special room open to the air in which the cleaning lady had a faucet for her hose to use to spray down the stalls. Dec and I hung out outside while Thom stood in the room with Quin. The washer woman in her full face mask and plastic wrapped legs stepped into the room, looked at Quin on the pot, and then went about her business turning on the hose, and left without comment. Oh, and did I mention that Nana was the one with the TP in her purse? Poor kid got to use hand sanitizer wipes because we had no other supplies with us.
Oh, yes, and the pandas were cute. Sad though as there are so few in the wild. But definitely special.
3. Yak Poo.
After our Li River Cruise, we took an add-on tour. I wrote about it previously. When we went to the Ulong (not Wulong) Village and took the bamboo raft down the tiny clear river, we were allowed to get out and feed some water buffalo. The farmers had them there with stacks of long grass of some sort for the kids to feed to the adult animals. At first, we had a problem with an unruly little boy (not our child) spraying a water buffalo full-on in the face with a big water sprayer. With that family, we were treated to a prime demonstration of how some Chinese parents fail to correct or reprimand poor behavior choices when they only have one child. That was the explanation our guide gave for why the kids in that group were so miserable to be around and why their antics went unchecked. I do have to say, though, that they were in the minority and that most children have been absolutely lovely to us and the kids.
Anyway, I digress. We did get to feed the buffalo. But then there was one of those moments when you see your child just far enough away from you at you know that you are not going to get there in time and that an event that you would like to prevent is about to happen. Dec was just on the other side of a small riverside pond filled with thick red-brown goo and I could see the sloping edge and how close he was to it. I just knew he was about to go in. As he slipped, I grabbed. Only his entire shoe and lower leg landed in the muck. Then he stepped out and onto my previously white Nikes. I say previously because they are now sort of giraffe patterned.
I then had the pleasure of sitting at the edge of the bamboo raft and scrubbing shoes, socks, and the hem of pants just like all the women we had passed on the river doing a bit of laundry. The river was cool, clear, and refreshing and just the right antidote to a big dose of yak poo. I had to be grateful that I wasn't scrubbing down the whole boy. Gotta love the small miracles.
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