The US says, "Yes!"

I have been checking in periodically with Officer Harrison at USCIS to see how close we were to I-800 approval.  Now that we have the final approval from China to be the adopting parents of Allura Minlan, and we have the approval of the USCIS to adopt internationally through the Hague convention, we need the final approval of Allura as THE adoptee.  The one and only.  The precious.  The fabulous.  The beloved.

Yesterday was the two week mark from the USCIS's receipt of our final I-800 application to their lockbox in Texas.  When we received the receipt, I asked Officer Harrison, as she had processed our I-800A, how long the next step would take.  She told me that it takes 7-14 days to get from the lockbox to her desk but she assured me that I-800s take precedence over I-800As as there is an actual specific child involved and she would process it immediately.

At yesterday's two week mark, I emailed her to find out if it had made it to her desk.  This AM, I received this email:

"Good morning Karin,

In an answer to your question, I received the I-800 on 5/5/2010, 

and processed on the same day.  Congratulations, 

I approved the your case and the approval notices went out 

in the mail that day!  Please let me
know if I can be of further assistance!

Thanks!"

Although we already have tickets, we still need every permission 

and every document to be processed, done in time, and in our hands. 

This is one more fantastic step to parenting

our youngest child. 

Next step?  No idea.  Something about the National Visa Center 

and "cabling to Guangzhou".

Stay tuned for more soon....  Smiles..... 

We're gonna put on our dancing shoes and get our 

groove on in celebration. 

Reality Checks

This week has been full of the small things we do to prepare ourselves for adoption.  Thom and the boys went to the county Health District office for a travel consultation.  I had already done mine and gotten my typhoid vaccine when we were thinking we were going to Russia.  The boys were absolutely calm and brave because they knew they had to do this in order to go to be with Lulu.  When I asked them what they remembered of the visit, they said that when we are in China, they have to shower with their eyes and mouth shut in order to avoid accidental water ingestion that was not bottled and sealed.  Sounds like there were lots of useful tidbits before they got the precious gift certificate for a Frosty (milkshake) for being so brave for their shots.

Yesterday I received a call from my oldest friend who adopted her son from Ethiopia almost 3 years ago.  I thanked her for letting me know that when you are waiting and the wait seems endless, one starts to worry and fret about how things will go, how the family will do and anything else a stressed mind can come up with.  The knowledge that what I am thinking is normal when I worry about how we will handle two active boys, the financial aspects of this endeavour,  and a toddler who may be working on her "terrible twos/threes" is a normal healthy concern.   It's okay to fret and move on or even to perseverate a bit. 

She was glad that her advice helped me and wanted to share another piece of wisdom.  She pointed out that anyone adopting will have dreams and expectations that may or may not be met.  She is sure our adoption will be the treasure and joy that we hope for and that all will go well overall.  But, that we need to know that anything can go any way and it's entirely possible that our expectations won't be met and we will need to work with that.  She wasn't offering this because of anything I had said at all but instead the knowledge of what it is like to expect a child whether biological or adopted.  Another friend had many minuses along with the pluses in the adoption of two older siblings.  One always dreams and imagines and projects what one's children might be like.  How you work with the differences and the discoveries a huge difference. 

I am so grateful that friends, families and new friends through adoption are so willing to share their experiences.  Tonight, when I finish my current trashy novel, I will begin to read my new book  Toddler Adoption.  Insights galore and I am ready to soak them up.

Flight Plan

We bought tickets this week!  I can hardly believe I get to say this. 

I learned, from my Yahoo Groups and adopting family blogs, that ticket prices to Asia are skyrocketing.  It seems that when school is out, everyone travels to Asia.  T., one of the Mom's adopting this summer, received permission to book mileage seats in advance in order to be sure she can afford the tickets.  She notified our group that she would be flying July 1.  She is about two weeks ahead of us in the paperchase and, like us, does not yet have travel approval. 

Usually, a family will wait until they have the final approvals from the USCIS and China AND have received their travel approval (TA) before buying tickets.  This means you buy tickets for a flight only a few days to weeks away at some exorbitant high season price.  This avoids purchasing tickets too early as you must have the TA in hand before getting on a plane.  However, with the way the ticket prices are going up ($100-$300 a day since I started looking), we were not going to be able to afford take the boys and Nana unless we bought tickets now.

The agency person who coordinates this part of the process (Sabrina) calculated potential travel dates out for us numerous times.  While she worked on this, I tried valiantly to get us mileage seats for at least half the group.  Multiple lengthy attempts were unsuccessful as I found that all mileage seats to Asia available to us had been booked about a year in advance.  I started getting very desperate.  When looking at various airlines and dates, I only found things to be more and more expensive.  Additionally, the potential calculations for reasonable dates that would ensure that we had received ALL of our documents pushed things from the idea of receiving Lulu in June into July. 

Then Sabrina settled on a date that was comfortable for her to expect all paperwork to be completed:  July 19th.  We would be allowed to purchase tickets for July 19th with a presumed/hoped for "Gotcha Day" of July 26th.   This is the first time I have heard a proposal for a real honest-to goodness Gotcha Day.  This will be the special day in which we meet, receive, and begin to connect with our daughter at the provincial offices in Nanning.

I spent hours trying to work with a website and on the phone with a help center in India.  I went to bed that night furious with an airline.  I couldn't book six tickets at once on their site but since they were the least expensive airline, and recommended by an acquaintance from US and Mainland China, I was determined to work it out.  I worked two computers at once and was able to buy two tickets at the promised price but was locked out of buying the other four tickets.  I tried every credit card, multiple options, and then called for help.  The help desk first told me there were no seats on my flight.  I had 2 out of 6 on a plane that I needed 6 to fly on.  The website gave me every indication that seats were available.  The reservations agent spoke with a supervisor and let me know that they no longer had any online pricing seats available but that they could release seats to me at the higher price.  I was completely miffed but at this point I recognized that we were going to be lucky to be able to fly on the same plane at all and if I had to wait even one more day, we would lose the opportunity to travel at all.  We were allowed to reserve the seats that night and if we called back in the AM when their credit card desk re-opened, we would have the tickets.

Did I get up early to call reservations desk in India?  I sure did!  We bought them and the boys went off to school that morning and spontaneously started telling their teachers and classmates how excited they were to be going to get their sister in July.  Even if it is two months away, it is ONLY two months away and that feels a lot better than having no idea when we would go and whether we would be able to take the boys.

So, very happy news from the Harp household this week.  We will depart on a Monday, arrive in China Tuesday evening, tour either Guilin and Yangshuo along the Li River or tour Beijing - we still have to decide that part of the plan- then we will get to Nanning on Sunday and unite the family on Monday.  Then we have days of adoption related activities in Nanning and then in Guangzhou.  More agenda later.  Right now, I just want to bask in the joy of having tickets.  It does feel good.

Wish Come True

Last night, Thom asked me what I wanted most for my birthday.  I smiled cheerily and said, "Our daughter."  I really meant it but I didn't want to get my hopes up.  Last week no families on Rumor Queen got an April LOA.  That was after 12 families received their Letters of Approval (the final official approval of a family's commitment to adopt their particular child) the week prior.  Last week on Rumor Queen everyone was fessing up to their addiction to LOA statistics.  "Hi, I'm Karin, and I'm addicted to LOA results."  Something like that.  Believe me, I was watching as closely as everyone else and trying to be patient and wait for the average of an 80 day wait.

This morning, I awoke to my 41st birthday celebration before I headed off to work.  The boys got me fantastic DVDs.  Thom got me pretty sparkly things that I love.  The kisses from all were plentiful.  I was happy and on my way to work where folks were sweet and thoughtful and wonderful.  I finished up the morning, went to my jacket pocket, and took a tiny peek at my iPhone...just in case.  It is Monday after all and if you have been reading my updates you know that Monday and Tuesday are traditionally big days for receipt of LOAs.

This was the text I got from Thom:  "We got our LOA!!!!  Happy Birthday Honey!!!!"  I cried, giggled, screamed and jumped up and down all at the same time.  It's day 67 AND MY BIRTHDAY!  I could hardly believe it. 

Now what?  More paperwork and Fedex shipping.  Shots.  Visas.  Packing.  Frantic feathering the nest mode.  A travel date somewhere in June.  A family who is 6-8 weeks to getting on a plane.  The dream of receiving our daughter and getting to know her being only a few months away.  One delighted birthday Mama along with an ecstatic household.  Can I get a "WOOO HOOOOOOOO?!"

Getting Ready to be a family of Five

For a while now, I have been delaying preparing for Lulu's arrival.  Many months ago, I thoroughly enjoyed the nesting process and I discovered all the adorable things out there for girls.  Over the past few months, I chose not to attend to "things" as I realized that we have a good start and that hopeful place in my heart was becoming more and more sensitive as it became harder and harder to wait.  It was time to focus attentively on our family of four and just let us become five when the time was right.

We took a lovely Spring Break in San Diego and spent time at the beach and the various parks around the area.  It was fantastic.  I noticed Asian daughters everywhere I looked.  Most with Asian parents and many with caucasian parents.  I found myself absolutely looking forward to someday taking our daughter to see the Koalas and Pandas and Giant Anteaters at the wonderful San Diego Zoo. 

The first step in realizing that I am ready to finalize the nest was when I saw a booth at Legoland where wonderful artists paint names with shapes from nature or from stories.  Both boys have had, since early childhood, their names drawn with flowers or animals in that Chinese painting style and hung above their beds.  Right away, I knew it was time to get Allura's.   We had her name done in princesses/fairies with various hair colors and flowers.  I just love it!  We also had a smaller one with a hula girl as the "L" in Lulu. 

I understand and can only imagine how complex the naming issue is going to be for our little girl.  We will find out, when we receive her, what she prefers to be called and we will call her that.  But we do hope to work in or at least establish an appreciation for the name and nickname her parents gave her in love and appreciation.

Someone in a blog has mentioned two books to read about adoption.  One is a fictional fantasy book and one about names.  I will attach the Amazon info here but I have not read them nor read their reviews at this point.

Next, I need to work on how to have a 5th seat at the breakfast table look natural and not just added on.  I think it will go from a table for 4 to a table for 5 by simply expanding the one we have.  Or we'll go to Ikea and get a round table.  We always wanted to do that anyway so people can stop being afraid of our creaky kitchen chairs collapsing underneath them.  Hasn't happened yet but it does sound like the ice cracking on a frozen lake or glacier when a person sits down or even shifts their weight...  Ahhh, another item on my list for preparation for Lulu's arrival.  I love this list that I am building in my head because it means that I truly believe that the day will come that we are a family of five.

Allura - Sista to the bruthas

These photos of Lulu came in November after the late October pre-approval from China.  We were floored to get an update just after she turned three.  The boys' photos are from earlier in the school year, ages 6 and 9.

We have recently discovered, through my adoption penpal/blogpal Stephanie (Thank you!) that LOAs usually come in to agencies on Mondays.  That makes sense with what I saw on Rumor Queen/Chinaadopttalk when 12 families from various agencies received their LOAs.  So, we have our fingers crossed, are praying and trying not to obsess- What, me obsess?!  Nah!  No really, I am trying to be patient for Monday and Tuesday of next week.  Today is day 56 for us from LID to LOA and counting.  Hoping to count only to Monday....

Our dossier specialist Marilyn says that LOAs do usually come in on Mondays.  It takes 4 weeks typically to get from LOA and all a few more documents to receiving TA (travel approval) from China.  Apparently TA comes in on Mondays too as a group of families got the TA at our agency this past Monday and are getting on planes to China this Friday!  Amazing!  Usually it takes 2 weeks from TA to getting on a plane.  So, are we 6.5 weeks away from traveling?  Not if it really takes 75-120 or more days to get to LOA.  But everytime I look at Lulu's photos I fall deeper and deeper in love with our little cherub.  I can't wait to cuddle her, sit with her, play with her, teach her, listen to her, sneak in and see her sleeping under her Hello Kitty (of course) comforter, console her, argue/debate with her, watch her play with her brothers while she tells them what to do....

As soon as we get LOA and new photos we will certainly share.  Enjoy these for now:

Sharing our photos.

Creating a blog for adopting families is a wonderful way to share the process.  It's also quite therapeutic and informative to boot.  Through reading the blogs of many families, I recognize that everyone shares the photo of their child.  We don't have to give every single detail and identifier and in that way we can protect her privacy.  But seeing the photos of all of the children who will soon have families of their very own and who are already loved from across the planet fills my heart with hope and joy.

While we await our LOA and updated photos.  Please enjoy pictures of our darling girl.  Her baby photo was at 4 months of age.  Her "fancy hair" photo was age 2 1/2 years. The age 3 photos will be in a posting at another date as they are stored on another computer.

Embracing My Inner 10 year-old

Written 1/18/10:
For years now, I think I have been suppressing my girlishness.  When I was a little girl, and a big girl, I loved Little Twin Stars, My Melody and Hello Kitty.  I enjoyed color, music and language.  I adored anything Japanese or Chinese.  Some of the most hysterical girl-pop was from Japan.  This all faded over time for me.  Perhaps I thought that doctors had to be somewhat serious.  Perhaps it was because there is little cute stuff for boys.   It's hard to perceive Bionicles and Transformers as adorable. 

Okay, now that I think about it, my boys are certainly not hampering my girly side.  They even made stuffed animals with me two weeks ago.  They picked out the characters they wanted to make from Aranzi Aronzo's awesome book Cute Dolls.  Then, we went to the fabric store together, picked out the own fabrics, and came home and made a fluffy monkey and a bird-like creature called Liar.

I have had a great time picking out cute things for Lulu.  Turns out I still love Barbie.  Not the standard versions of course but rather Mulan, Miss Sumatra, the 1998 Christmas version, Snow White, the Tinkerbell Fairies.  Yes, I happen to have some such items in the linen closet waiting for our little girl.  Online I found some GroovyGirlz (or however it's spelled).  I also found the perfect Hello Kitty Butterfly comforter, a matching pillow, and some really sparkly shoes.  Then of course there are the cheerful My Little Pony dolls that my friend Elane's girls passed on to Lulu.  Don't even get me started on the cute clothes.  I decided that it is likely just best to get a few things that I adore.

4/06/10-
Now I find that I have done the bits of nesting I can do.  I am ready to do the receiving.  No, I don't have her bed in the kid's room yet.  I don't have her wall decorated.  I think I am waiting for the LOA to come and then I will be excited to actively work on creating her own space in her home.  The time to prepare that aspect is almost here but if I do it too early, I am afraid that I will just miss her more.  When we get the LOA though and send back our final agreement to adopt our dear daughter, there will be no holding me back.  That awesome name painting that we just had painted for her and spells out Allura in princesses, flowers, and glitter will get framed and up on her wall just like the boys have always had for their walls.   Minus the princesses, flowers and glitter for them of course....

Time and time again...

We are excitedly awaiting our LOA.  This is the document that China sends to formally and finally match a child to their family and to allow us to finalize our commitment to adopting Lulu.

Through participating in three Yahoo Groups, one for our agency (Wasatch), one for our city  and one for the province, I have learned a great deal over the past month.  One of the neat tidbits is that there is a website called chinaadopttalk.com in which people at various stages in the process from all over the country talk about their experience or ask questions.  Three of us from our agency have been communicating closely about how many days between LID and LOA (we are on day 54 today) and who has received their LOA.  Well, an amazing person on Chinaadopttalk actually builds a chart with all the waiting families in the Special Needs program, the age and gender of the child, and the province.  The most important thing that we are all watching for is who gets their LOA and when as it can mean that another family is close to that goal.

So over yesterday and today, 12 families got their LOAs!  12!  Two were from my Wasatch group and they had waited 54 days.  They are however from a different Province but there were two families who had LIDs in February from our province and got their LOAs this week.

We are the next Special Needs family on the list with a child in our province.  I can only hope the LOA comes soon!  Does it come by Fedex, do they call us?  I have no idea.  I'll have to ask.  I am just so happy for the four families in my Wasatch group that have received there LOAs and we hope we are next.  I was hoping for under 75 days, as were the other families and they received them at day 54.  However, the family still waiting the longest on the list is at 85 days.  So, we'll just keep hoping and praying and look forward to the news.